Realizations Abroad

Out of the blue, these thoughts are coming to me. I might as well write and share it. A little mixed up, but I hope you’ll understand what I’m trying to convey.

“Taking Risk”

Life on earth is not perfect. On a daily basis, we encounter problems necessitating solutions. More often than not, problem solving is not an easy feat. It will require thorough thinking for you to attain a win-win situation. Lucky you if the outcome is favourable. However, there will be times drastic measures should be done before you can decipher a way out to a certain predicament. These measures include taking risk. A lot of people say that we should take risks so that our lives will be worthwhile. True enough for if we don’t, we’ll never know what’s waiting for us on the other side. It’s like our one-way ticket out from the “what if” and “if only” of this world. Keeping yourself on the safe zone won’t take you elsewhere. Yes, taking risk may lead to endless possibilities that will surprise you in many ways. You know what they say that you’ll never know until you take a chance.

The problem with taking risk is that there are no guarantees, no assurance, and no certainty. It’ll be a delight if that risk will equate victory, but what if it’s the other way around? Sometimes taking risk will lead to hurt, pain and suffering. Sometimes it turns out that the unexpected will occur rather than the anticipated outcome. All we have to do is accept it and move on. It’s hard, I know, but that’s the only option left. At least we knew what could have been. It’s always better to do the things you should and be sorry than being sorry for not doing the things you should have done in the first place. If you didn’t, you’ll be forever guessing. That’s harder. The only consolation is that you’ve satisfied your quest whatever the ending may be. At least you know where you stand. If it’s not good now, there’ll be another one for you to make it better.

“Saying No”

There will be questions that a “yes” or a “no” will be a perfect fit. It’s either you affirm or you negate the thought. A yes or no question is like being caught in between. It’s like a black and white situation with no room for grey areas. Oftentimes, people ask a question and expect a positive response. A yes is highly appreciated and a no brings some repercussions.

In this dog-eat-dog world, it is the fittest who will survive. Many are out there to take advantage of our innate goodness for their personal gain. It is up to us to say no on this matter and put an end to it. You can’t say yes all the time. Sometimes you have to say no and stand your ground otherwise you’ll be abused.

I’m the type of person who always compromise just to give way to other people’s wishes. I always try to find the middle ground just to make an amiable mood even if it means sacrificing portions of my personal joy.

But things are different now. I’m beginning to learn how to say no especially now that I’m overseas. If not, you’ll be exploited and mistreated. Some people will try to manipulate you and take charge over you. What now? They want you to be their robot that just follows commands, which doesn’t refuse nor retort. It’s not like that. You need to speak for yourself especially when the situation calls for it. You need to know your rights and what is meant for you. You need to learn how to discern when you’re being put in a very unfavourable state. You need to learn how to decline, to reject and to turn down when what’s being asked is rubbish and absurd.

You can’t always agree just to please them. Always settling with someone else’s desire puts you on that person’s favour but what if your own happiness is being denied? I think it’s about time to go the other way and fight for what is rightfully yours. By saying no to what you believe is wrong and unjust, you are making a statement that you are in control and you won’t let anyone manoeuvre you towards the crooked path.

I remember our Indian doctor telling me that it is in our nature, Filipinos being enslaved by the Spaniards for over 300 years, to always say yes. I think it’s about time to eliminate that connotation and start to make a stand especially if you know what you are fighting for is right and reasonable, just like what our heroes did centuries ago.

“Trusting People”

Trust just like respect is not being imposed, it is earned. I’ve read a couple of days back that you can’t always trust the person you love but you can always love the person you trust. It’s logical.

Call me naïve but I have a tendency to trust people easily. Strangers who can speak eloquently can catch my attention, thus my trust. I remember attending this seminar along with my aunt and uncle about a certain mega-nutritional product and the speakers were good. Way too good to be true. They sounded convincing and very encouraging. We just found ourselves joining their networking scheme. Just look where those flowery words and promises took us, but that was the thing of the past. My point is sometimes people can be deceiving. Some will use stories of triumphs and successes to attract you. Some will use sob stories and their miseries to warrant your sympathy.

Being trusted is a wonderful feeling. Also, it feels great when you can put your confidence on somebody else. However, being too unquestioning can be a disadvantage especially when you’re abroad. I’ve heard a lot of horror stories back home and we’ve been warned not to be too trusting here because you’ll never know who’ll be genuinely trustworthy. Fortunately, I found friends in my workmates whom I can depend upon.

There was this one incident that happened a few months back when one Filipino borrowed a small amount of money to allegedly buy some necessities. At first I was hesitant, but because of his stories, and the fact the he’s also a Filipino, I pitied him and lend him the money in full conviction. He promised that he will pay me back on the next salary. Four salaries have passed but I never heard from him. What’s worse is that when we see each other, he speaks nothing and acts as if he owed me nothing. I’m not after the money anymore; it’s just that I want him to say something like, “I’m sorry I can’t pay you back anymore.” That I can accept. So basically, I just charged it to experience but I’ll definitely think twice, thrice before lending money again. 

Ever heard of trust no one except yourself? For some instances it’s true, but look around you, you have your friends and family. If all else fails, look up, God is there. Trust Him and His heart and you’ll never go wrong. That’s for sure.

“Let Down”

This is another trust issue. What if the only person you are relying to let you down? Definitely you’ll be disappointed, frustrated and mad. For a period of time, those emotions are valid. It’s ridiculous when the people you’re counting on seemed to turn their backs on you. What hurts most is that they don’t seem to care at all. Strangely, you’ll feel like a ball thrown in the air with no one left to catch.

During a plight you’ll definitely run to someone you trust, believe and expect that can help you. You held your hopes high, too high that you get devastated afterwards because that someone was a let-down. That someone who should act as your advocate has neither sympathy nor empathy. You’re only looking for support and assistance that appeared to be unreachable. Why? I don’t know and I’ll just rest my case.

Moving on, we all know that every cloud has a silver lining. In times of crisis, there’ll be someone on your rescue. What makes things extraordinary is that the one saving you from your misery is the least person you expected. That doubles the joy afterwards. The willingness of that person, the sincerity of his/her heart and the warm encouragement he/she gives you are enough to suffice the nuisance of that let-down.

Always remember that in times of distress, all we have to do is kneel and pray for our Father in heaven is our Portion and Deliverer. Note to self: He will make us glad.

“Being Away”

Filipinos, as influenced by the Chinese culture, have strong family ties. Amidst the technological advances and the changes of time, I believe that many Filipino families are still holding on to these ties. This may be the reason why it’s so hard to leave your family behind. Being away from them is truly a cross to carry. But why do we need to part ways temporarily? The reasons vary.

I personally set foot on a foreign land for practical reasons, that is, to gain professional experience. Admit it or not, Nurses like me are having difficulty attaining a hospital employment in the Philippines. It’s either you end up unemployed or get a job mismatch. That’s the reason why many of us, willingly or forcibly leave the country.

The distance and time difference can drive you crazy. Nobody is strong enough once homesickness strikes. Nobody’s out there to look after you. Basically, you’re on your own.

But come to think of it, this being away can be a good time for yourself. I’ve read in some articles than in order for you to find yourself, you need to be lost. Being away is the perfect time to grow and mature, to discover and rediscover yourself, to broaden your horizon and to open your eyes for you to better understand the world.

I know this being away is just temporary so might as well use it to my advantage. There will be challenges along the way but we Filipinos are known for being resilient. By being optimistic and realistic, these trials will be a doddle.

On a serious note, working offshore is bearable compared to the separation brought about by death. Just recently, my uncle’s mother-in-law (may she rest in peace) passed away. The event was so sudden and took everyone by surprise. I can’t imagine how it feels and I never want to be in that situation. I don’t even want to think about it. I fervently pray to the Lord that may He extend our days here on earth for us to continue to enjoy the wonders of His love.

So I’ll take the good with the bad with this milestone in my life and make the most out of it. I’m certainly looking forward to coming home and being with my family and friends once more. No goodbyes just see you again… soon.

Agree or disagree?